Why this piece of toast?

A small question that brings you back into your own day.

I've been conscious of being on autopilot so much that I stop questioning my habits. This week I decided to challenge myself on not eating bread. A small thing. But it's my go-to when I need a distraction, or when I quickly need to eat something, and I thought: this is not helping me. Mentally or nutritionally.

So what happened?

I had to think more creatively about eating something else, something more nutritious.

I asked myself more often this week why I needed to eat some bread. Often it wasn't because I needed it, but because I wanted the distraction.

I was distracting myself from some problem-solving I had to face at work. From what I really needed to do, which was show up.

As a result, I have eaten better, been more switched on mentally and even exercised more.

And I did face the problem. I've felt more productive this week than I have for a while. My mind is creating momentum, instead of feeling stuck on a hamster wheel.

All of that came from one small question: why do I want this?

I don't think I'm the only one on autopilot. It's Friday. You've packed the bags, found the missing shoe, answered the emails and remembered the form. You've made a hundred decisions since you woke up.

How many of them were about you?

For a lot of the mums I work with, the honest answer is none. They matter as much as anyone in the house. They've just dropped off their own list. The day happens, and they keep up with it.

Here's the habit, if you want to try it. It takes about ten seconds, and you can start at breakfast.

Start with the toast

Ask yourself why. Not the big, life-purpose why. The small one.

Why this piece of toast? Because you fancied it? Or because it was left on a small person's plate and you ate it standing at the counter?

Why this conversation with this friend? Because she fills you up? Or because you feel you should?

Why are you spending today the way you are? At work, at home, somewhere in between, worn out after a long week of juggling kids and life.

You don't have to like every answer. Sometimes the why is "because it pays the mortgage", and that is a good, solid why. You're not trying to change everything. You're noticing that you chose it, and what you chose it for.

That noticing is what I mean by being considered in your own day. You stop being carried along by it and start being in it.

What your why does for you

Once you know why you're doing something, the rest gets easier to sort.

Some things you can't change. The school run exists. The week was long. Someone will need a costume by tomorrow. When you know what today is for, those are easier to put down.

Some things you can change. What you say yes to. Who gets your time. Whether ten minutes of the day belong to you.

You probably know the old line about accepting what you can't change, finding the courage to change what you can, and having the wisdom to tell them apart. Your why is how you tell them apart. It does the sorting for you.

Four ways to come back to it

1. Pick one anchor moment. The kettle, the school gate, the car before pick-up. The same moment every day, so you don't have to remember.

2. Ask "why this?" and listen for the word should. "Because I want to" and "because I need to" are both fine. "Because I should" is worth a second look. Whose should is it?

3. Sort it. Can I change this? If not, put it down for today. If so, what's the smallest thing I could do differently?

4. On the hard days, ask a gentler question. When you're flustered and tired, the why can feel like one more demand. Swap it for: what do I need right now?

None of this needs a free hour, a journal or a quiet house. It needs ten seconds and a bit of honesty.

And if the answer is "I don't know"

That happens more than you'd think. You ask why and nothing comes back. Or the same answer keeps coming back and you don't like it.

Nothing is wrong with you if that happens. It usually means you've spent a long time thinking about what everyone else needs.

It's also where I come in. I help mums find their why, and work out what is theirs to change.

If that's where you are, I offer a free 20-minute clarity call. No pressure, just a conversation about where you are and what you want next. Book your free clarity call.

So, tomorrow morning. Why this piece of toast?